Can it be!?

I truly cannot believe that 2011 is just days away.  I just happened upon my final post of 2009, which was all about ringing in 2010 and my views on New Years Resolutions.  I seemed happy enough when I wrote that post, but I know I wasn’t.  I cannot remember how many times during 2010 I referenced my “boring New Years Eve” where I just sat at home by myself.  Way to be a Debbie Downer, hm?

I realize that although I was recently heartbroken and alone, that I had a lot going for me then…and I have even more going for me now.

So here we are, a full year later (minus a couple of days) and I feel light years away from having been that person.  I’m happy again.  2010 for me was all about growth and happiness…doing things for me, and spending a LOT less time mourning the losses of things and people that I thought I had, but really didn’t.  I discovered myself a lot more, and what it means to do thing for you.  I’ve always thought that the comforting things in life (comfort food, drinks with friends, curling up on the couch with a good book, taking trips, indulging in chocolate or trashy TV, diet soda, days off from exercise) had to be spread out, that you weren’t allowed to enjoy these things every day.  Why I should I be “allowed” to have macaroni and cheese and diet soda, all while reading on my couch in my pajamas?  This just seemed like too many good things at once.  Why was I depriving myself from indulgences, aka comfort for my soul?

You can have all those things and be okay!  I’m not sure if I was intentionally depriving myself from things that I deemed “comforting” because I felt I needed to conform to what society seemed to consider to be “healthy” standards, or if I simply was punishing myself for not being entirely happy in other areas of my life, and therefore, why should I be allowed to be “comforted” daily?  I may be some pounds over my ideal weight, and I may not exercise like I used to, but you know what?  I’m happy.  I have reached a point in my life where I’m (mostly) comfortable with who I am, inside and out, and the activities I engage in.  I have a good job, I’m thisclose to having my Master’s degree in something I’m passionate about, I have a loving family, friends, boyfriend, and I’m on my way toward good things; I can feel it.

I’d by lying if I said that everything in my life was perfect, because it’s not.  There are things that I wish I could change about not only myself, but things going on around me.  But I can’t.  There are goals and dreams I have for my life that I wish were happening now, but they aren’t.  But you know what?  I’ll live.  Remembering that it’s not necessarily when you reach those goals, but the journey you took getting to them.  I can’t forget that.

So this New Year, I don’t have any concrete resolutions, per se.  I have things I want to work on within myself, and things that I want to learn to be more laid back about with others in my life.  But as a person, I feel good about who I am.

Even though I have not posted much this year, I still read all of your blogs daily.  There has been so many wonderful things in my life this year, that I have simply been out living life.  The blog world is a part of me that I will never forget, and will continue to be a part of through reading and posting when I can.  Reading your blogs each day gives me a great feeling of connectedness and happiness to see others living their lives too.  🙂


Have a happy and safe New Year everyone!


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